I recently got caught off guard. This is something that rarely happens to me, so for me to be in this situation was shocking. I am quite the optimistic pessimist, hoping for the best while expecting and preparing for the worst.
I pride myself in my excellent planning and management skills. I tend to make decisions based on the worst case scenario, that way I am prepared when it falls through. That being said, I was certain of the outcome of a decision. I was so certain it would be positive that I had gone ahead and made plans based on the outcome because I have in opinion analyzed all the possible ways it could go wrong and have preempted the negatives.
After months of waiting, a decision was finally made and woah! It was not what I was expecting. Now, I was prepared for this and I was really shook. It got to me so bad that I was numb for the next few days; I was having some kind of out of body experience. I did not want to speak about it to anyone and I was acting as though everything was okay but I did not know how to process the emotions I was experiencing.
Onyi could tell I wasn’t myself and she knows me well enough not push for information I wasn’t ready to offer. We had planned to collaborate on a photo shoot and I guessed she felt it was the right to go for it so as to distract me. It was fun shooting with Onyi & Craig and I really needed the distraction. I finally was able to open up to Onyi about what I was going through and obviously broke down in tears while at it.
I have been on a roll of ticking boxes and crossing out achieved goals that I am taking a little setback too hard but I realize that it’s okay to be a little broken and beat down. It’s a character building process and these are the makings of me.
Having friends to share the good and the bad times makes life worth living. Here’s to friendships that stand the test of time, conflicts and change.
Thanks for reading xx Mimi