On New Year’s day, while catching up over the phone with an old friend, I opened up about how I am not happy with a lot of things in my life at the moment. Even though I have taken steps to changing them, I still have a hole in me I cannot explain.
What she said to me gave me a whole new perspective. She said “Mimi, you seem to be struggling with self-acceptance and forgiveness”. To be honest, I have never thought that of myself but as our conversation progressed, I realized she was onto something and I have to agree the struggle with self-acceptance is real. In my case, ever since I had Kadima, it feels like I am living with two people in me and I am unable to resolve them into one person (is that even possible?).
I want the me I was before having Kadima, the me that was carefree and confident and adventurous. The thing is I don’t know how I got to this point. I never expected I would still be feeling confused at this stage of my life. What I learnt from the conversation is that my mind must be well to live a whole life. And even though I am working on myself on the outside, I will make a conscious effort to work on my mind.
I have registered with a mediation app as a first step to mental strength and discipline and I am hopeful of things to come 🙂
Thank you for reading xx Mimi